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How the game works, and where you can install it

EN: roadmap post. No excerpt lives here - excerpts 1-3 are in the devlogs above. This post is not a fragment. Excerpts 1-3 of the build code live in the three devlogs above, and nothing new is hidden here. This one is about how the game is put together and where you will be able to install it. The idea Most Serius Game Ever is a quest about launching a game. The game does not want to be started: the loader apologises, the menu hides its own buttons, the exit button runs away, a captcha measures your humeness, and the last screen asks for a build code the game insists it never wrote down. Every screen is a negotiation, and the negotiation is the gameplay. Two rules held the whole thing together. First, no line of text lives in code: every remark comes out of a shuffled pool, so a second playthrough is a slightly different game. Second, the original language is Ukrainian and English is the translation, not the other way round - which is why some jokes had to be rewritten three tim...
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Eleven endings, and the flag runs away

EN: excerpt 3 of 3 of our build code. Evaluate the GDScript below, keep the result, join all 3 in publishing order. That string is what the game will ask for. There are 11 endings in the game. One is given if you do nothing at all and just wait. One — if you move very fast. One — if you beat the game, but chose the service entrance. Another one — for grammar. None of them are called "Victory", because we agreed that a player who beats a satirical quest about there being no game didn't beat the game, but attentiveness. There are 420 lines of text per language in the game, across 2 languages, and not a single line is written directly in the code: all dialogue lines come from 81 joke pools, and the pools are shuffled on every launch. So a game played twice is twice a little different. Even the title in the menu sometimes forgets the word order — it's not a localization bug, it's title_variant() . build_stamp.gd · fragment 3 of 3 # build_stamp.gd — excerpt from...
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A double jump costs 184 pixels

EN: excerpt 2 of 3 of our build code. Evaluate the GDScript below, keep the result, join all 3 in publishing order. That string is what the game will ask for. The platformer in this game is a punishment for impatience, so its physics are painfully honest. Constant values directly from player.gd , unvarnished: # player.gd — real constants const SPEED := 260.0 const JUMP_VELOCITY := -560.0 const GRAVITY := 1700.0 const MAX_FALL := 1200.0 # apex of the jump: v*v / 2g const RISE_SINGLE := JUMP_VELOCITY * JUMP_VELOCITY / (2.0 * GRAVITY) const RISE_DOUBLE := RISE_SINGLE * 2.0 Hence the "92-pixel rule": a single jump elevates the player to a maximum of v² / 2g ≈ 92.2 px from the center of the body, and a double jump to 184.4 px. All the geometry of the five levels is verified by an offline jump simulation between all pairs of platforms, not just adjacent ones: otherwise, a decorative upper platform gets into the main route and the simulation lies that the level is impassabl...
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There is no second "o" in the repo name

EN: excerpt 1 of 3 of our build code. Evaluate the GDScript below, keep the result, join all 3 in publishing order. That string is what the game will ask for. This game's repository is called MostSeriusGameEver . There is no second letter "o" in the word Serious . At first, it was a typo in the first commit, then the package name in export_presets.cfg , then the saved file name on the phone. Fixing it would mean migrating saves, so we decided that's just how it was intended. Intended, by the way, to this day: "Serius" is not a mistake; it's a promise. Seriousness doesn't have to be grammatically correct. For the same reason, the game has an ending for doing nothing and not clicking anywhere for 50–80 seconds, as well as an easter egg for double-clicking the slogan. The game makes fun of the pools, and the pools make fun of the repo name. build_stamp.gd · fragment 1 of 3 Here is a fragment of our version builder — the file that signs the build...
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